The Year of the Rabbit – Part 3/6

Part 3. Failure.

“The way of lion is full of danger, temptation and a constant risk of losing what is already achieved.”

Failure

Success requires venture, and venture never comes without the risk of rejection and failure. Failure… is such a nasty word. And I failed.

In part one, in Finland, I had two cups (out of three) half-full with life-ingredients that I consider important to me. The first cup contains interesting job, the second has a good social life in it and the third one contains love. In part two, in the small town in Norway, I had already two cups full. Wow, quite an improvement, wouldn’t you say?

Somehow I did not see the third cup, the cup of love, filling anytime soon in that small Norwegian town, so I took a risk and moved to the capital of Norway. And got to keep the contents of the first cup – fulfilling job. The previously everyday friends were now far away and new ones were not so easily made in this new environment so the second cup remained empty. The little promise of love I had achieved was also in status quo, because of the long distance.

This setback and some lost battles made me weak and I refused to claim enough energy to take responsibility of my life. I gave up my efforts and lived with what I got left. No change for better nor worse. I had more “content in life” than back in Finland, but significantly less than in the small town. My gut feeling had objected the last change, but I had ignored it.

“I want you to hit me, as hard as you can”

However, my skills in Norwegian language had improved super fast and I could handle most everyday situations without any discomfort and was no longer afraid to make telephone calls or talk with strangers, not even with someone speaking the strongest Stavanger dialect. I knew that I would always be understood and when it comes to me understanding others – I would always manage somehow. I still could not connect very well with people when communicating only in Norwegian, but nevertheless I was very happy that I had taken the rocky road in learning it.

Tehosekoitin – Maailma on sun

During this one-year-long downfall, I had chosen safety, which then reinforced fear. However, my strongest ally, my subconsciousness, knew that there was a need for some changes. Eventually, I fell deep enough in my misery to finally look myself in the mirror, face my fears and take action. I gathered enough courage to make another restart and resigned from my job. And for the first time in my life, I did not have a plan…

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posted: 11 January 15
under: Lifestyle